Interrupting Negative Thoughts When I was a kid I had opinions. I know this is utterly shocking for those who actually know. Shocking. And I remember saying to another kid who wanted me to do something I did not want to do on the playground, “You’re not the boss of me!” Our thoughts can for […]
How to Deal with Suffering and Pain: Stop Making an Advanced Purchase
“You can’t buy a ticket for a train that’s not at the station. This isn’t like vacation where it costs less if you buy it in advance. You don’t even know if this train is coming. That is not how to deal with suffering and pain. Or, shall I say, possible suffering and pain.” I […]
The Fawn Response and the Difference Between Niceness and Kindness
Being a “Nice Girl” and the Fawn Response One of my supervisees said something to me once that I haven’t stopped repeating since: “nice girls end up in trunks.” She wasn’t being dramatic. She was naming something super real; something a lot of us learned the hard way. We learned the habit of being endlessly […]
What if the Way You’re Thinking is Making Your Anxiety and Depression Worse?
Anxiety and Depression and How to Help Yourself If you’ve ever been told to “just stop worrying” or to “choose joy,” you already know how unhelpful that advice is. Anxiety and depression are not character flaws. Nor are they signs that your faith is weak. They are not things you can simply decide your way […]
Why Mindfulness Practice Matters for Trauma Healing
Many people try mindfulness practice and feel worse, not better. They sit still, notice their heart race or their thoughts go willy nilly, and decide they’re failing. The truth is so much kinder (and more accurate): your nervous system is doing its job. When you’ve lived with chronic stress, abuse, or ongoing uncertainty, your body […]