written by Gwen Soat, LCMHCA You Might Be in the Peacekeeper Family Role If… You can tell someone’s upset before they even say anything. You rehearse difficult conversations over and over (and over) before having them…or avoid them completely. You pride yourself on being “low maintenance,” and secretly feel guilty for having needs. You are […]
When Marriage Separation May Be Appropriate
Marriage is undeniably hard at times. All marriages experience struggle and there are times when couples need to come to counseling to help get their relationship back on the right track. Marriage counseling can be a great help to keeping a relationship going for the long haul. There is one time, however, when couples counseling […]
How to Stop Worrying: What If You Scheduled It Instead?
How to Stop Worrying The first time I suggest this to a new client, I can almost always predict their reaction. Their eyes go a little wide. Sometimes they laugh. Let’s be honest, they almost always laugh. Not like “haha that was funny,” but more like, “haha you are not sane.” And then they say […]
How to Deal with Suffering and Pain: Stop Making an Advanced Purchase
“You can’t buy a ticket for a train that’s not at the station. This isn’t like vacation where it costs less if you buy it in advance. You don’t even know if this train is coming. That is not how to deal with suffering and pain. Or, shall I say, possible suffering and pain.” I […]
The Fawn Response and the Difference Between Niceness and Kindness
Being a “Nice Girl” and the Fawn Response One of my supervisees said something to me once that I haven’t stopped repeating since: “nice girls end up in trunks.” She wasn’t being dramatic. She was naming something super real; something a lot of us learned the hard way. We learned the habit of being endlessly […]
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