In a recent episode of the Hey Tabi Podcast, I shared when Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) might not be the best therapy choice for someone healing from trauma. EMDR is powerful—but not always the right tool for the job. And that’s okay! Let’s talk about the why and what else you can do.
When EMDR May Not Be Right for You
1. You’re in an Actively Unsafe Environment
If you’re currently in an abusive, coercively controlling, or unsafe situation, your nervous system is in survival mode. To be most effective, EMDR reprocessing requires emotional safety and stability. While some aspects of reprocessing and resourcing skills from EMDR can help, full reprocessing should wait until you’re able to find safety in your environment and in your body.
2. You Struggle Significantly with Emotional Regulation or Dissociation
EMDR relies on being present while touching past memories – think of it as one foot in the present and one foot in the past. If you’re frequently dissociated or flooded with emotion, the process may become destabilizing. In those cases, stabilization work using somatic or parts-based therapies often needs to come first. This doesn’t mean you are irreparably broken at all! It just means you need a whole different modality that fits you better! Oftentimes, brainspotting works much better for folks who struggle with EMDR.
3. You’ve Had a Traumatizing Experience with EMDR Before
If a previous EMDR session left you feeling unsafe, unseen, or shattered—it’s okay to pause and try something else altogether. A bad experience doesn’t mean you’re broken. It just means something wasn’t done with enough care or preparation. You don’t have to go back to EMDR unless you want to, and even then, only with a trained, trauma-informed provider who understands how to help you walk through trauma processing.
4. There Was Inadequate Preparation
EMDR isn’t just waving fingers in front of someone’s eyes or handing them some tappers. Proper preparation includes emotion regulation, safety planning, and informed consent. Without that, clients can leave sessions more activated and anxious than when they came in. We are adamant that folks are prepared for reprocessing so it’s done safely. EMDR also isn’t just the reprocessing phases – it’s a whole process that begins from the first time you meet with your therapist.
5. You Have a Neurological Condition
Some clients with traumatic brain injuries, epilepsy, or other neurological issues may not be candidates for traditional EMDR eye movements or even bilateral stimulation using another method like tappers or audio. The good news is there are always other treatments that are great – like brainspotting, IFS, somatic experiencing, etc. We’ll talk about all those in just a moment!
6. You Just Don’t Like It
You don’t need to justify disliking a therapy method. If EMDR isn’t working for you or feels uncomfortable, you can say no. Therapy is a collaboration—not a command. Your feedback matters. You can always ask for or find something else!
Therapy Alternatives When EMDR Isn’t a Fit
Thankfully, EMDR is just one of many evidence-based trauma therapies. Here are several alternatives that can be equally powerful—sometimes more so, depending on your needs.
🧠 Brainspotting
Developed out of EMDR, Brainspotting uses a fixed gaze point to access deep, subcortical parts of the brain. It’s gentler for some clients and ideal for those who struggle with visualization or bilateral stimulation. It’s also less directive in some ways than EMDR which some clients prefer.
🌀 Somatic Experiencing
This body-based therapy helps release trauma stored in the nervous system. It teaches you to notice and regulate bodily sensations, which is foundational for many trauma survivors.
🧩 Internal Family Systems (IFS)
IFS focuses on the different “parts” within us—protective, wounded, reactive—and helps integrate them into a whole. It’s especially useful when dealing with complex or developmental trauma.
📖 Narrative Focused Trauma Care (NFTC)
Narrative-focused trauma care helps you see new things in your story, especially when developmental or childhood trauma is present. This helps you come from a place of compassion and clarity. It’s deeply healing when done in the context of safe therapeutic support or even a group setting.
Your Therapy Should Work for You
As trauma therapists, we want our clients to feel empowered in the therapy process. If you don’t like something or want to try a new modality, please speak up. You’re the expert on you.
If you’re a therapist listening in, remember: our clients are not cookie-cutter. If EMDR isn’t working, it’s not a failure—it’s a cue to reach for another tool.
You deserve therapy that feels safe, personalized, and healing. Because trauma doesn’t get the last word—hope does.
Are you ready to see what therapy fits best for you? We’ve got your back. Reach out today.
Want to Hear More? Watch the full podcast episode!