The Breath of Life – Or a Breath That Feels Like Death?
Breathwork is often talked about as helpful, and for good reason. Deep breathing exercises, often called breathwork, and somatic practices that emphasize the breath can absolutely help many people calm their nervous systems, reconnect with their bodies, and find peace.
But what happens when it doesn’t help? What happens when slowing your breath makes your heart race faster? When closing your eyes and “going inward” takes you straight into a trauma vortex? When breathwork doesn’t actually feel like peace, instead it feels like drowning?
If that’s you, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re not broken. You’re not resistant to healing. You may simply be someone whose nervous system, because of past trauma, interprets “stillness” as danger.
Trauma Rewires the Nervous System and the Breath
When you’ve experienced trauma, especially complex trauma or abuse/coercive control that involved a lack of safety over time, your body gets really good at scanning for danger. In technical terms, your autonomic nervous system becomes biased toward survival. This often keeps you in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
So, when a well-meaning therapist says, “Just take a deep breath and feel safe in your body,” your system might scream, “Absolutely not.”
For trauma survivors, slowing down can be triggering. Stillness may have been when the deepest harm occurred. Breathwork can even mimic the sensations of a traumatic event: tightness in the chest, loss of control, dizziness, or helplessness. Our bodies freak out and then nope you right out of it.
In other words—breathwork might be too much, too soon.
Regulation Isn’t One Size Fits All
Trauma-specialized care means we don’t force strategies onto people, we follow the nervous system. Breathing and learning breathwork is can eventually be useful, but might not be the best way for you to start.
Some clients need to move before they breathe. Others need to speak, sing, stomp, or sway. Some need their eyes open. Some need a therapist present. Some need to not go inward at all. Sometimes you need to learn breathwork slowly.
And all of that is valid.
It’s not about mastering breathwork, it’s about helping your body find safety.
What to Try Instead
If breathwork makes you feel worse, don’t push through. Try these instead:
- Orient to the present. Open your eyes. Look around the room. Name what you see, hear, and smell.
- Use movement. Rocking, walking, or stretching can help regulate before stillness.
- Try grounding through the senses. Hold a warm mug, run water over your hands, or squeeze a weighted pillow.
- Use external rhythm. Clap, tap to music, or listen to bilateral sounds (sounds that alternate from ear to ear – you can find some on YouTube). This can support regulation in a way the breath can’t yet for you.
Eventually, breathwork might become accessible to you. But only once your system says yes, not because someone told you it’s what you “should” do.
Neither You nor Your Body is the Problem
If breathwork feels scary or overwhelming, the problem isn’t you. The problem is the mismatch between what your body has lived through and what it’s being asked to tolerate. Go slow. Give yourself grace and compassion.
Healing isn’t about forcing yourself to do what others say works. It’s about learning what safety actually feels like – for you.
And sometimes, the safest thing you can do… is not take a deep breath.
Here at The Journey and The Process, we specialize in trauma-focused, whole-person care. We have tools like EMDR and Brainspotting that can help you heal the way your nervous system needs. We’d love to come alongside you and help. Reach out today for your free discovery call and start healing.
