Recently, our Founder & CEO, Tabitha Westbrook, was a guest on the podcast Speak Up Queen. Hosted by Marika Wells, it’s a podcast that empowers, uplifts, and celebrates women. This episode was filled with insight, compassion, and wisdom – as well as ways to engage in trauma healing.
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
Marika Wells dove right in, asking Tabitha about the most challenging limiting belief she had to overcome. Tabitha explains that the belief of not being enough, instilled in her by various traumas and abusers, was the hardest to shake. She shared that overcoming this belief wasn’t perfect, but through ongoing battles and trusting in her worth as declared by God, she found her voice and stepped out of the shadows.
Rising Above Negative Words and Actions
When asked about a time someone made her feel small and how she found strength, Tabitha opened up about her history of childhood abuse and an abusive marriage. She emphasized the importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences in trauma healing and finding self-worth through positive experiences and healthy relationships.
Tools for Healing
Tabitha highlights the importance of therapy, particularly with counselors who understand complex trauma. She also talks about faith, safe communities like Called to Peace Ministries, and the annual conference that helps women find solidarity and support. These safe spaces have been crucial in her journey to healing, and in the journeys of the survivors with whom she works now.
First Steps to Finding Her Voice
A pivotal moment in Tabitha’s journey was finding a counselor who recognized her true potential. This counselor helped her reclaim her voice, leading to a significant turning point where she stood up to her abusive ex-husband and obtained a protective order. This empowerment was a crucial step towards her freedom and advocacy.
Lessons on Self-Worth
Tabitha discusses the importance of recognizing one’s inherent worth despite past traumas. She encourages the practice of speaking words of life over oneself and highlights the power of setting boundaries. These practices help in reclaiming one’s voice and identity. Trauma healing takes time, and much has to be disentangled. Speaking life over oneself is one way to help along that journey.
Advising Her Younger Self
Asked what she would tell her 17-year-old self, Tabitha humorously suggests running from bad relationships but also again emphasizes the importance of therapy and recognizing the lies told by others to control and use her. She would assure her younger self that good people and opportunities would come her way.
Setting Boundaries
For Tabitha, setting boundaries was crucial to maintaining energy and peace. She distinguishes between fences and walls, emphasizing flexibility with safe individuals while maintaining firm boundaries with those who are harmful. Clear communication and knowing one’s limits are key aspects of her boundary-setting practice. Additionally, boundaries help survivors remove themselves from toxic situations, which makes trauma healing easier.
Staying Grounded
Despite her expertise, Tabitha acknowledges that staying grounded during challenges is a continuous practice. She recommends having a ‘911 card’ with top go-to skills, practicing regularly, and seeking support from friends and therapists to navigate difficult moments. Ready resources at your fingertips can help in trauma healing.
Defining Thriving
To Tabitha, thriving means knowing oneself, being gracious with emotions, and maintaining genuine relationships. She focuses on living truthfully and fully, loving others well, and managing the big emotions that come with being an empathetic and passionate person.
Motivation to Share Her Story
Tabitha decided to be part of Speak Up Queen to inspire other women. She hopes that by sharing her story of trauma healing, women will see their potential, overcome challenges, and know that healing is possible. She aims to show that no one is too broken to be wanted, or loved. Listen to the full episode to uncover Tabitha’s profound insights and find inspiration in her journey from trauma to triumph.