Am I struggling with something or do I need clarity in a relationship or other area?

Counseling could be really helpful. Running it by someone who is skilled at helping folks figure things out can really help you get the clarity you need or see an issue differently than you may have before.

Have I tried all I know to do and am still coming up short?

Sometimes we just can’t think of all the aspects of something and we need to talk it out. Counseling can really help you do that and help you come up with some new things to try or help you shift your perspective on a situation. Unlike a friend or family member, counselors don’t have a preconceived idea of the issue or of you.

Have I been through something really hard/awful that I’ve never told anyone or that I’ve never really addressed?

There are things we experience or that happen in our lives that are big deals. It could be sexual assault, being abandoned or abused by a parent, being in the military or law enforcement (or any first responder), an abusive relationship/spouse, or a host of other experiences that leave a mark. Sometimes people feel like they’re walking through life broken or like something is “off”. Counseling can help you heal from these hurts and live the life you know is there, but can be hard to find.

Have I had counseling for an issue in the past and that issue is coming back up?

That totally happens sometimes. I see it a lot in clients who have experienced sexual abuse or sexual assault. Dan Allender in his book, Healing the Wounded Heart, talks about it being like layers of the onion that sometimes need to be pulled apart at different times as we grow in our healing. So many people say, “I should be past this by now!” when the reality is it may just be time for the next step in the healing process.

Am I about to get married?

Premarital counseling can be unbelievably helpful. Therapists skilled in this process really help couples look for and address issues that can trip them up later. A good counselor can also help you learn skills that will serve you for decades. The average couple waits until they have been having issues for SIX years before they get help. You can save yourself a lot of heartache by starting off right and getting help along the way as needed.

Is my marriage in trouble?

A good couples/marriage counselor can be incredibly helpful in getting a marriage back on the right track. Even if situations that are really bad like a spouse having an affair occur, if both parties are willing to work on it healing can come. We have seen many marriages recover from incredible struggles and

Are you struggling in parenting your kiddos? 

Children don’t come out of the womb with an owner’s manual, though that would be super cool. There are some hard things parents have to figure out and a good counselor can help you do that. They can help you and your kiddo relate better and help you build stronger relationships. If your kiddo has a disability or challenge, it can be even harder on parent. Counseling can help you cope with the challenges.

Are your friends/family members telling you it might be good to get counseling? 

Sometimes our friends and family see us struggling and they feel powerless to help. They may suggest you see a counselor. If that is something you’ve heard from someone you care for and trust, it may be helpful to take a look at whether counseling could be helpful for you.

We hope this helps you answer the question, “How do I know if I need counseling in Wake Forest?” If you read these and thought, “Well dang, I fit one or more of these” we want to help! Reach out today at 919-891-0525 for your free, 15-minute consultation. We’d love to see you for counseling in our Wake Forest office!

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The answer might just be yes – thankfulness can keep you from needing counseling in Wake Forest!

Did you know that a practice of giving thanks – sometimes called gratitude – can actually help you reduce feelings of anxiety and depression? If you practice gratitude regularly you may find you don’t need counseling in Wake Forest – and if you do need counseling it might not be as long!

The Science

Giving thanks (gratitude), no matter what form it takes, is associated with happiness. Expressing our gratitude also can support long-term relationships. Not only can gratitude boost your mood and strengthen relationships, but it also can improve your physical health. Research shows that practicing gratitude helps improve sleep and increase energy. It also shows that gratitude can be an “natural antidepressant” releasing dopamine and serotonin into the brain, which boosts mood. There is even evidence that maintaining a gratitude journal can reduce pain. Research conducted by HeartMath found that positive thoughts – like gratitude – can actually stop the physiological stress responses. There is even more information on how the practice of giving thanks can positively impact the brain structure, and this article is really great if you want o learn more!

The Practice

Here are some amazing (and easy!) ways to practice giving thanks so you can reap the amazing benefits this practice holds!

1. Gratitude journal – No need to be all fancy here (unless that’s your jam). A simple notebook is sufficient. Take a few minutes each day to write down at least five things for which you are grateful. It can be literally anything, even “I’m grateful I had enough gas in my car to get to work today.” Even on the worst days there are at least five things to be thankful for. If you’re afraid you’ll forget, set an alarm or reminder on your phone.
2. I Appreciate – Tell someone three things you appreciate about them. You can appreciate anything – even the day-to-day stuff that you’re thankful for but never comment on. For example, if your spouse or child takes out the trash you can say, “Thank you so much for taking out the trash. I appreciate it.” I know you might be saying, “But it’s their job to take out the trash. It has to be done anyway.” Yes, that is true, but you are still grateful because it’s done and now you don’t have to worry about it. We practice this one with couples all the time. It is amazing to see how it changes and strengthens relationships to simply be appreciative.
3. Say “thank you” – Most of us are conditioned to do this, at least a bit. But do we thank everyone? Do we actually mean it when we say it? Make it a practice to genuinely thank the cashier at the grocery store, the person helping you at the DMV, and the kids for finally picking up their socks.
4. Pay it forward – When you can, do a random act of kindness. That can be as simple as picking up litter you find or as elaborate as paying for the person’s order behind you in line at Starbucks.
5. Write a note to a friend – You can do this on actual paper or through a text or email. There is a lot of value in actually doing it on paper. It slows your brain down and uses a whole different processing mechanism than an electronic format does. If you mail the note to the friend that can be really powerful and meaningful. How awesome is it to get mail that isn’t a bill or junk?
6. Thankfulness jar – Get a mason jar and some small slips of paper. Starting on Thanksgiving, and then daily thereafter, write down one thing for which you are thankful. Have each family member do it with you. Next Thanksgiving you’ll have 365 reminders of the good things you experienced throughout the year.

The art of giving thanks is one that can have a huge reward for those who practice it – maybe even keeping you from needing counseling in Wake Forest. If you’re feeling stuck and not sure how to even a thankfulness practice started, we would be happy to chat with you about counseling in our Wake Forest office. Reach out today at 919-891-0525 for your free, 15-minute consultation.

The post Thankfulness Instead of Counseling in Wake Forest? appeared first on Tabitha Westbrook.

Myth No. 1 – You have to be severely mentally ill, “crazy,” or have a serious problem to go to counseling

Fact: You don’t have to have any of that going on for counseling to be beneficial – and, really, who defines “crazy” anyway? Getting counseling early on can help keep you from having a serious problem or mental illness. We don’t just go to the doctor when stuff is wrong – we get an annual physical every year to make sure we’re all good. Counseling is like good preventive medicine. It helps us sort through the little things so they don’t become big things.

Myth No. 2 – Someone who doesn’t know me can’t help me

Fact: It’s actually really helpful a counselor does not know you. We don’t have any preconceived ideas about you like friends or family. We also are able to help you challenge yourself in a way friends or family can’t or won’t. We also don’t tell you what to do – we help you figure that out and help you develop the strength to do it.

Myth No. 3 – Counselor just sit and nod from their little chair with a scowl on their face.

Fact: The way TV and movies portray counselors is pretty ridiculous. We have comfortable spaces and we talk with you. A counselor who just sits and stares with a blank expression and only the occasional head nod is a made for TV fiction. Counselors should be engaging and talking with you. Good counselors generally do more listening than speaking, but they are not detached and distant.

Myth No. 4 – Counseling will take foreveeeeerrrrr

Fact: Counseling is not designed to be a forever thing. We tell our clients we want to help them meet their goals and live their life, remembering us fondly (or even not remembering us at all!). It does take longer for some folks than others, depending on what’s going on. However, the goal is that you’ll be able to get where you want to go and then weekly counseling won’t be needed anymore.

Myth No. 5 – Once I’ve met my goals I can never see my counselor again

Fact: You can always come back if something comes up or if you just need to check in. You may not need weekly sessions anymore, but you can always get a tune up. I often recommend quarterly tune-up visits to clients – especially couples – to maintain the amazing work they’ve done. And you can always try out different counselors for different seasons of life. Who you saw as a single 20-something may not be the best fit when you’re a 30-something with three kids. (For more info on how to find a counselor, check out our blog here).

We hope this has helped dispel some myths about counseling in Wake Forest NC for you! We want you to find the most amazing counselor and attain those goals you have. If we can be of help in getting you connected to one of our team, reach out today at 919-891-0525 for your free, 15-minute consultation. We’d love to see you in our Wake Forest office!

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What is the difference between “counseling,” “therapy,” and “psychotherapy”?

Nothing. They are all words that mean the same thing when we’re talking about getting counseling. Lots of folks use them interchangeably, though that can be confusing for people! We generally use “therapy” or “counseling” in our practice.

What is my first counseling session like? 

We can’t speak for every therapist, but we’ll tell you how it works with us. We have you complete all the paperwork through our secure portal and we’ve already reviewed it before you come in. The session itself is a conversation. We want to get to know you and help you craft some goals for us to work on together. You might come with some goals in mind and we might share some we hear from what you’re telling us. The session itself is like a conversation. At the end, if we both think it’s a good fit and you can meet your goals then we’ll schedule your next session.

How long does counseling last? 

Here is the best response we can give – it depends. If you’ve had counseling in the past and are coming in to shore up some skills or work through a current issue it will take less time. If you’ve never seen a counselor before and you’ve had some really difficult experiences it may take more time. We encourage clients to plan for at least 12, weekly visits with us. We find twelve is enough sessions to get to know you and get you headed where you want to go. Sometimes by 12 sessions you’re done and you graduate and sometimes you need to come longer. We track your progress so we know for sure counseling is helping you. If it’s not we talk about it with you and, when needed, help you find someone who may be a better fit.

Do I have to take medicine to feel better? Do you prescribe medication?

Whether or not you take medication is a personal decision. Some people find it’s helpful and others prefer not to take anything. If we think it might be helpful for you to consider we’ll tell you. We don’t prescribe medications, but we can make a referral to an awesome psychiatrist who can do an evaluation and determine if medication might be helpful.

Is counseling confidential? 

Yes, it is with a few caveats. Nothing is shared about you without your permission – even with a family member. You have to sign a release form so we can talk to anyone about anything, otherwise what you say to us stays between us. The exceptions to this are: You are a danger to yourself or someone else, you are abusing a child, or you are abusing an elderly person. In those instances we are required by law to report these things to the appropriate authorities. One other time we may have to share information is if a court requires that we do so (like a court order).

Do I have to be “mentally ill” to get counseling? 

No, you don’t. Counseling can be very beneficial for a whole host of life’s struggles. Stress from changing jobs, sadness over losing someone close to you, struggles with relationships, and many other things lead people to seek counseling. We often recommend that most people go to counseling at least once in their lives. We all get caught up in our head and can use someone else’s perspective to help us sort through stuff. Counseling can give you a place to do that. And, when people come for counseling when something is just a little struggle it often does not become a big struggle. Think of it like preventive medicine.

Do I have to lay on the couch? Do you even have a couch?

Well yes, we do have a couch and no you don’t have to lay on it. Unless you want to. Then you totally can. A lot of therapists have couches in their office to help you have a comfortable space in which to work. What it isn’t, at least for us and many of the therapists we know, a sterile environment with us peering over our glasses at you. It’s a safe, welcoming space that’s more like a living room.

What else should I know? 

Counseling isn’t all about struggle. We celebrate victories. We laugh. Can it be hard? Yeah – change is hard work. Sometimes we’ve been through hard things and they hurt to talk about. But counseling also can be a great joy and can actually be a whole lot of fun. Our clients are often surprised by how much we laugh together. In our office, change happens and joy that may have been lost returns.

We hope these FAQs about counseling in Wake Forest was helpful in understanding the counseling process. We have more FAQs about counseling in our Wake Forest office here. If you’d like to find out more about working with us, feel free to reach out at 919-891-0525 to schedule your free, 15-minute consultation. We’d love to see if we are a great fit for you and help you get your journey back to joy started!

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Question 6 – Have you ever been to therapy yourself? 

I will tell you right now – the answer to this question should be yes. Every single therapist should go to therapy for him-/herself. If we believe counseling is helpful then we also recognize we sometimes need support. I would be extremely suspect of a therapist who has not been in therapy. How on earth could they understand what it’s like for you to walk through that door and share your struggles if they haven’t done it?

Question 7 – What license(s) and/or certifications do you have? What state(s) are you licensed in?

As shocking as this may sound, not all states require therapists to be licensed. If you want to see someone licensed or your insurance will only pay/reimburse someone licensed you need to know this information. Certifications, while not required, are helpful in understanding any specific areas of expertise for that therapist. Some locations offer therapy at reduced cost through interns. Interns can be wonderful (ours are and our clients LOVE them!), but you will also want to ask how they are supervised and how any issues would be addressed.

Question 8 – Do you take a religious or spiritual approach and, if so, what does that look like?

Some clients really want their religious beliefs and spirituality to be part of a session, while others like to know the therapist understands their faith. Some clients want no spirituality or religious perspective included.

Question 9 – Do you see people only at your office or do you offer video/phone sessions?

Research shows video sessions can be just as helpful as in-person sessions. That said, not all clients prefer that while others love it. The college-age individuals we see love the option of a video session so they can fit therapy into their schedule. Being able to do video or phone sessions are also a great option when it snows in Wake Forest! We know all things close here when that happens, but you don’t have to miss your therapy appointment with us!

Question 10 – What do you charge and do you accept insurance? 

Obviously you’ll need this information to make sure the therapist is a good fit. If you absolutely have to use insurance for therapy then you’ll want to ask if they are in network with your insurance provider. Don’t assume they are – the insurance landscape is pretty complicated and not all therapist take all plans and some take no insurance at all.

Final Thoughts

The last thing to really consider is how you felt talking to the counselor in Wake Forest NC. Did the therapist call you at the time scheduled (if you scheduled one)? Did they seem distracted? Did you feel at ease? Did you feel understood? Did you feel like they answered your questions fully?

All these things can help you find an amazing counselor in Wake Forest that will work for you and we hope we’ve helped you with some questions to ask a potential counselor. If you’d like to find out more about working with us, feel free to reach out at 919-891-0525 to schedule your free, 15-minute consultation. We’d love to see if we are a great fit for you and help you!

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