Am I struggling with something or do I need clarity in a relationship or other area?

Counseling could be really helpful. Running it by someone who is skilled at helping folks figure things out can really help you get the clarity you need or see an issue differently than you may have before.

Have I tried all I know to do and am still coming up short?

Sometimes we just can’t think of all the aspects of something and we need to talk it out. Counseling can really help you do that and help you come up with some new things to try or help you shift your perspective on a situation. Unlike a friend or family member, counselors don’t have a preconceived idea of the issue or of you.

Have I been through something really hard/awful that I’ve never told anyone or that I’ve never really addressed?

There are things we experience or that happen in our lives that are big deals. It could be sexual assault, being abandoned or abused by a parent, being in the military or law enforcement (or any first responder), an abusive relationship/spouse, or a host of other experiences that leave a mark. Sometimes people feel like they’re walking through life broken or like something is “off”. Counseling can help you heal from these hurts and live the life you know is there, but can be hard to find.

Have I had counseling for an issue in the past and that issue is coming back up?

That totally happens sometimes. I see it a lot in clients who have experienced sexual abuse or sexual assault. Dan Allender in his book, Healing the Wounded Heart, talks about it being like layers of the onion that sometimes need to be pulled apart at different times as we grow in our healing. So many people say, “I should be past this by now!” when the reality is it may just be time for the next step in the healing process.

Am I about to get married?

Premarital counseling can be unbelievably helpful. Therapists skilled in this process really help couples look for and address issues that can trip them up later. A good counselor can also help you learn skills that will serve you for decades. The average couple waits until they have been having issues for SIX years before they get help. You can save yourself a lot of heartache by starting off right and getting help along the way as needed.

Is my marriage in trouble?

A good couples/marriage counselor can be incredibly helpful in getting a marriage back on the right track. Even if situations that are really bad like a spouse having an affair occur, if both parties are willing to work on it healing can come. We have seen many marriages recover from incredible struggles and

Are you struggling in parenting your kiddos? 

Children don’t come out of the womb with an owner’s manual, though that would be super cool. There are some hard things parents have to figure out and a good counselor can help you do that. They can help you and your kiddo relate better and help you build stronger relationships. If your kiddo has a disability or challenge, it can be even harder on parent. Counseling can help you cope with the challenges.

Are your friends/family members telling you it might be good to get counseling? 

Sometimes our friends and family see us struggling and they feel powerless to help. They may suggest you see a counselor. If that is something you’ve heard from someone you care for and trust, it may be helpful to take a look at whether counseling could be helpful for you.

We hope this helps you answer the question, “How do I know if I need counseling in Wake Forest?” If you read these and thought, “Well dang, I fit one or more of these” we want to help! Reach out today at 919-891-0525 for your free, 15-minute consultation. We’d love to see you for counseling in our Wake Forest office!

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Myth No. 1 – You have to be severely mentally ill, “crazy,” or have a serious problem to go to counseling

Fact: You don’t have to have any of that going on for counseling to be beneficial – and, really, who defines “crazy” anyway? Getting counseling early on can help keep you from having a serious problem or mental illness. We don’t just go to the doctor when stuff is wrong – we get an annual physical every year to make sure we’re all good. Counseling is like good preventive medicine. It helps us sort through the little things so they don’t become big things.

Myth No. 2 – Someone who doesn’t know me can’t help me

Fact: It’s actually really helpful a counselor does not know you. We don’t have any preconceived ideas about you like friends or family. We also are able to help you challenge yourself in a way friends or family can’t or won’t. We also don’t tell you what to do – we help you figure that out and help you develop the strength to do it.

Myth No. 3 – Counselor just sit and nod from their little chair with a scowl on their face.

Fact: The way TV and movies portray counselors is pretty ridiculous. We have comfortable spaces and we talk with you. A counselor who just sits and stares with a blank expression and only the occasional head nod is a made for TV fiction. Counselors should be engaging and talking with you. Good counselors generally do more listening than speaking, but they are not detached and distant.

Myth No. 4 – Counseling will take foreveeeeerrrrr

Fact: Counseling is not designed to be a forever thing. We tell our clients we want to help them meet their goals and live their life, remembering us fondly (or even not remembering us at all!). It does take longer for some folks than others, depending on what’s going on. However, the goal is that you’ll be able to get where you want to go and then weekly counseling won’t be needed anymore.

Myth No. 5 – Once I’ve met my goals I can never see my counselor again

Fact: You can always come back if something comes up or if you just need to check in. You may not need weekly sessions anymore, but you can always get a tune up. I often recommend quarterly tune-up visits to clients – especially couples – to maintain the amazing work they’ve done. And you can always try out different counselors for different seasons of life. Who you saw as a single 20-something may not be the best fit when you’re a 30-something with three kids. (For more info on how to find a counselor, check out our blog here).

We hope this has helped dispel some myths about counseling in Wake Forest NC for you! We want you to find the most amazing counselor and attain those goals you have. If we can be of help in getting you connected to one of our team, reach out today at 919-891-0525 for your free, 15-minute consultation. We’d love to see you in our Wake Forest office!

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Question 6 – Have you ever been to therapy yourself? 

I will tell you right now – the answer to this question should be yes. Every single therapist should go to therapy for him-/herself. If we believe counseling is helpful then we also recognize we sometimes need support. I would be extremely suspect of a therapist who has not been in therapy. How on earth could they understand what it’s like for you to walk through that door and share your struggles if they haven’t done it?

Question 7 – What license(s) and/or certifications do you have? What state(s) are you licensed in?

As shocking as this may sound, not all states require therapists to be licensed. If you want to see someone licensed or your insurance will only pay/reimburse someone licensed you need to know this information. Certifications, while not required, are helpful in understanding any specific areas of expertise for that therapist. Some locations offer therapy at reduced cost through interns. Interns can be wonderful (ours are and our clients LOVE them!), but you will also want to ask how they are supervised and how any issues would be addressed.

Question 8 – Do you take a religious or spiritual approach and, if so, what does that look like?

Some clients really want their religious beliefs and spirituality to be part of a session, while others like to know the therapist understands their faith. Some clients want no spirituality or religious perspective included.

Question 9 – Do you see people only at your office or do you offer video/phone sessions?

Research shows video sessions can be just as helpful as in-person sessions. That said, not all clients prefer that while others love it. The college-age individuals we see love the option of a video session so they can fit therapy into their schedule. Being able to do video or phone sessions are also a great option when it snows in Wake Forest! We know all things close here when that happens, but you don’t have to miss your therapy appointment with us!

Question 10 – What do you charge and do you accept insurance? 

Obviously you’ll need this information to make sure the therapist is a good fit. If you absolutely have to use insurance for therapy then you’ll want to ask if they are in network with your insurance provider. Don’t assume they are – the insurance landscape is pretty complicated and not all therapist take all plans and some take no insurance at all.

Final Thoughts

The last thing to really consider is how you felt talking to the counselor in Wake Forest NC. Did the therapist call you at the time scheduled (if you scheduled one)? Did they seem distracted? Did you feel at ease? Did you feel understood? Did you feel like they answered your questions fully?

All these things can help you find an amazing counselor in Wake Forest that will work for you and we hope we’ve helped you with some questions to ask a potential counselor. If you’d like to find out more about working with us, feel free to reach out at 919-891-0525 to schedule your free, 15-minute consultation. We’d love to see if we are a great fit for you and help you!

The post 5 More Questions to Ask a Counselor in Wake Forest NC appeared first on Tabitha Westbrook.

Question 1 – How often do you work with clients like me who are struggling with…? 

Hopefully it was obvious from their website they have experience with what you need, but how often do they work with people like you? If you’re struggling with anxiety how often do they see clients with anxiety? If you’re recovering from past abuse, how often do they work with clients who’ve experienced abuse? This should be an easy answer for a therapist. If you’re looking for help with depression and find the therapist you’ve contacted only ever worked with one client with depression you might want to consider whether they are the best fit for what you need.

Question 2 – What is your general approach to counseling? 

Whatever they say should fit for you. If they say, “During sessions we color the entire time as we talk” and that isn’t a style that gels with you the therapist may not be a good fit. On the other hand, that may sound amazing and exactly what you’re looking for!

Question 3 – Are you more directive or less directive?

There is not right or wrong answer here – it’s what works best for you. If you need a therapist who’s a bit more directive that style will work better for you. If you absolutely hate feeling controlled, very directive may not be ideal. Another part of this question is how are they directive or less directive. What does that mean to them and how does it look? Ask for some specific examples. “Directive” can mean different things to different people so getting more information on what that looks like from the therapist is super helpful.

Question 4 – How often are appointments? 

This is going to vary by therapist. Depending on the style of a therapist and the issues facing the client, there could be a different rhythm. For example, a therapist who sees primarily children may see the child one week and the parent/caregiver the following week. Also, ask why the therapist sees people at those intervals. We see clients weekly because research shows that is how you feel better the fastest and how you create lasting change.

Question 5 – What is a typical session like and how long are sessions? 

This can give you an idea of the rhythm of a counseling session. If the counselor you called only does 90-minute sessions and you’re hoping they’ll see your 5-year-old you might want to get more information because that’s a long session for a little kiddo! If you’re looking for marriage counseling and the sessions are only 45 minutes long how are they structured so the work can get done?

We hope these first five questions help you get started with a counselor in Wake Forest, NC. Next time we’ll cover five more questions to help you determine if a therapist is the best fit for you. If you’d like to find out more about working with us, feel free to reach out at 919-891-0525 to schedule your free, 15-minute consultation. We’d love to see if we are a great fit for you and help you get your journey back to joy started!

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Step 1 – Figure out what you need help with. 

Are you feeling depressed? Or feeling anxious? Do you need someone who can do testing for ADHD on your kiddo? Do you absolutely have to see someone in network with your insurance? Knowing what you need will help you narrow your search.

Step 2 – Ask a friend

Do you know a friend or colleague who raves about his/her counselor? That might be a great person to ask for a recommendation! We ask our friends what they think of the cable company or the new restaurant, why not ask about the counselors they like?

Step 3 – Consult Doctor Google

Seriously – we google everything. While I don’t generally recommend googling symptoms, a good web search for a counselor can help you find someone who might be a good fit for you. Try searching things like, “Counseling in Wake Forest”, “ADHD testing in Wake Forest”, “Anxiety counseling in Wake Forest”, “EMDR in Wake Forest”, etc.

Step 4 – Check out directories

Psychology Today is a great place to search for a therapist. Not all therapists have a listing, but this can be a great place to get a few names to consider. You can filter the listings by specialty, religious preference, preferred insurance, etc. (Hint – Google will pull up Psychology Today profiles when you search, so you don’t necessarily have to do a separate search of the Psychology Today site.)

Step 5 – Actually reach out 

Now that you have a list of folks who might be good fits it’s time to reach out to them. Shoot them an email or give them a call. I really recommend calling here. I know for some talking on the phone can feel as much fun as getting a root canal, but knowing if the counselor is a good fit is a whole lot easier to determine in a conversation. Don’t worry, the call shouldn’t be long – no more than 15 minutes. In our next blog we’ll talk about questions to ask during that initial call.

We hope this helps you find the right counselor in Wake Forest. If you are still feeling stuck, feel free to call us at 919-891-0525 for a free, 15-minute phone consultation. We’d be happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to the right person. Click to find out how we can help with trauma or anxiety.

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